Livejournal? What Livejournal?

Me: Hey computer I’d like to visit www.livejournal.com

Computer: What www.livejournal.com? You’re fairly sure there has never been a website called www.livejournal.com and there probably never would be.

This is the conversation I’ve been having with my computer for the best part of the last week, or it’s the conversation I would have been having with my computer if it wasn’t an inanimate object or I was slightly unhinged. In reality I was just asking my computer to load livejournal and it was politely declining, for a given amount of politely. So in the end I decided that I was going to move over here onto WordPress at least for the moment. It’s all a bit weird and unusual and I don’t really understand what’s going on, but it’s something. All I have to do is learn how to press words and I’ll be all up and running. Pressing words is a bit like pressing leaves or butterflies into a book isn’t it? Do people really do that. I mean the pressing leaves I can kind of understand (in a I would never do that in a thousand years kind of way but you know what I mean) but have I just imagined the stuff about pressing butterflies into a book? Did I perhaps see someone maliciously squash a butterfly and assume it was a fantastic new pasttime? Either way it’s not making me any more adept at using this damn website… erm… I mean this damn fine website. Good old webby website. I’d totally be using this website even if I had access to Livejournal. Yep. It’s just that good.

My Computer Sticks It’s Head Up It’s Own Backside

Yesterday I was having some serious issues connecting to the internet, specifically to Livejournal. I spent most of the day moaning that Livejournal was down and so on and so on. However as the day progressed and I was forced to retreat to my tatu blog I came to the inevitable conclusion that it was not Livejournal being awkward but my computer. Then I messed around with the router to try and fix this problem and now our internet is broked even worse than ever. Only one computer in the house now actually has the internet at any given time and it seems to be completely random chance which computer has it at any given time.

Anyway that’s my story of how with good intentions i managed to make things ten times worse.

Expect The Principalities as soon as the whole internet situation has been stabilised.

…

I remember complaining about World of Warcraft when it first arrived. Moaning that it wants to do download this and download that, update after stinking update. And yes while loading World of Warcraft was a long and often torturous process I have found something that has looked at World of Warcraft and gone ‘I can make my program more difficult to install than that!’ and then gone and done so and sold me a copy. I speak of course of Final Fantasy XI. By the way did I mention I’ve gone and bought Final Fantasy XI. I think it could be good. I’m just not sure as of the now because I haven’t actually got on it yet despite having started the installation progress almost twelve hours ago.

First you install the PlayOnline Viewer which is like something that you can view things in or something. I don’t really understand it. Anyway next you have to update that to it’s current version. Then you have to make an account with PlayOnline. Next up comes tying your GamerTag to your PlayOnline profile. After that you get to watch a cinematic which although good I couldn’t help but think ‘couldn’t the game have been installing while I was watching that’ once it had finished. Then you have to install the game and then navigate your way through the confusing PlayOnline profile I don’t really understand. Next up is buying a Content ID of which apparently sixteen are available and I think that’s kind of like paying for sixteen months into the future or something. Anyway then I have to register all the expansion IDs that come with the game. So there I am, by now it’s about three in the afternoon. I’ve been registering and updating and tying things together since twelve. I figure it’s time to get in there and make myself a character and start bashing things till they die but no I’ve obviously forgot the updates to the game itself, which my xbox informs me will take 8 hours to download. EIGHT HOURS! That’s a long time to do anything, nevermind download.

One day I’m hoping to come up with my own MMORPG and upon that day I’ll unleash a set-up more demanding, more rigorous and more difficult than the game itself! And upon that day rhinocrabs shall crawl from the earth and the sky shall turn red with blood and the world shall end.

Top Ten Cake Based Events of The Year 2008

Surprisingly when I have a determination to do something it can take me significantly less than three months. Voila.

Top Ten Candle Based Events of 2008

Lateness Alarm! Three months late is better than never eh?

Red Dwarf Thoughts

Breaking news!

People who know me from like a long time ago may already be aware of my long running feud with Amy Winehouse, Lily Allen and Kate Nash and how last year I gave up hating people for no apparent reason and resolved my feud with the aforementioned singers. The latest news in this ongoing saga of on-again-off-again hate is that I recently purchased a song by Lily Allen via iTunes.

Oh and I forgot to give up something for lent this year so I’m falling back on the “I’m giving up giving things up for lent for lent” joke. It’s an oldie but a goodie.

I know this is going to make no sense at all when I come to look back on it but…

I am so glad my plake baldwin account isn’t really banned. Phew. I don’t know what I’d do without my precious plake baldwin account.

Not Dead Yet

Erm… hi.

I’m totally not dead. Look I’m back and doing an update and everything. I can’t promise that this sudden upsurge in updates is going to continue but I can promise you one thing. I solemnly swear to you that from now on no matter how desperate for content I am, no matter how easy and convenient it seems, no matter how much money i get bribed I will never ever do fun link of the day. Stupid fun link of the day destroyed my perfect updating record. For that I will never forgive it. Rot in peace Fun Link of the Day. You will not be missed.

Anyway to sum up the last month and a half I played World of Warcraft a whole bunch, then I read all the Twilight books (excluding Twilight itself which I had already read) in about a week and then I bought and downloaded Grand Theft Auto IV: The Lost and The Damned. You know it’s really depressing when you can accurately summarize an entire month and a half into one medium legnth sentence with lots of conjunctions. The most distressing of the recent developments in my life is that I’ve finally managed to get into a decent sleep pattern right when I didn’t want one. Due to complex reasons (I hate other people) I’d love to spend most of my time on World of Warcraft when the time is the middle of the night time. However I’m now going to sleep early and waking up early. I don’t quite know what’s wrong with me. This is neither normal nor desirable.

Oh and I’ve been composing a list of the top ten celebrities that I would like to sleep with but it’s not complete yet. I keep getting mysteriously distracted in the process… So anyway I guess that’s about it for my month and a half of no excitement whatsoever. I’ll try and update every now and again so that you’ll know I’m not lying in a ditch somewhere. I don’t know people assume that people are going to die in a ditch. I’m almost never in a ditch and when I am in a ditch I pay very close attention to the rules of ditch safety. If I was to die I’d probably flop dead onto the keyboard and then blood would explode out of my veins and cover the entire room with a stomach-turning smattering of blood. Or something. I haven’t really thought about my death. If I did die like that it would be pretty cool though. It’s a shame I’d be dead and would be unable to appreciate it all things considered. Anyway that’s it for now. Bye!

Oh and I went on twitter for a while but I’ve given that up now. Bye again!

Fun Link of The Day

Okay it’s time for a brand new feature. One to amaze and astound. In this feature, so brand new that I haven’t even taken it out of the packet yet, I’m going to find a fun and exciting website which everyone should check out. And what’s more is I’m going to do this every single day. That’s right! I literally have not had enough sleep!

Let’s check out today’s fun link of the day: http://www.internet.com/

I don’t know what’s going on on there but the fact that there is an actually website called internet.com amuses me to no end. Okay it doesn’t amuse me to no end, because that would be pathetic, but it is pretty good. Okay not pretty good but it isn’t actively bad. Okay right so it is dreadful and full of the kind of stuff that will prevent you from sleeping at night as you cry into your pillow wondering where your life went but it’s difficult to find fun things on the internet. I mean you try website names and they don’t even exist. Why someone hasn’t put up a website about velcro badgers is beyond me.